Today I attended my niece's birthday party and it really got me thinking about my father. He loved her so much, called her is "SUNSHINE." Can't you tell when you look at that photo??
I am supposed to be studying today for a big test on Tuesday and I just could not focus after the party so I thought I would watch some TV. I checked my list of TIVO'ed events and I had a few Home Edition's to watch so I clicked it and watched away. Boy I was hit like a ton of bricks. This Home edition was about a woman who's sister died of cervical cancer in August 2004 and she promised her sister that she would take care of her 10 kids. My father died in August so it was one of those similarities that hit to close to home. I started bawling like a baby. Then it got so bad that I wanted to hear my dad's voice. Not that I have forgotten what his voice sounded like, I just wanted to hear his voice and see him alive. I had taken these video's of him while he was in the hospital and I have not watched them since his death. I could not bring myself to watch them, but I decided to torture myself tonight and watch them. At least I did get to see him 'alive' and I got to hear his voice, but I am a mess now. I would like nothing more to crawl into a fetal position on the floor and not get up. I can't even stand the thought of Thanksgiving or Christmas. They will never be the same. What's a daughter suppose to do without the HERO she once had in her life.
